Vanity
Ink, Marker, Printer Paper, Adobe Illustrator
I made this piece when I was 15 years old. Around this age, I became very interested in illustrations. It was a way for me to communicate and process ideas that I didn’t feel safe saying out loud. And even if I wanted to, I didn’t know how to put it into words. My goal through illustrating was to not only process my own feelings, but also connect with other people who might feel the same way. I hoped that through enough symbolism, I could shield the real message layered underneath, and only those who could empathize with the message would be able to decipher it. It would reach its intended destination safely. For many years, this was how I operated. And to some extent, it still is.
I was finalizing the first year of high school, and I felt terrible. I felt confused and angry. I felt a lot of pressure from society about what I should be. The natural laws and expectations felt unnatural, and it seemed like everyone was happily following them. Everything felt surface level. It didn’t feel like anyone could hear or see me. Misinterpreted, miscommunicated. It felt like people were too concerned about themselves to listen.